30 March 2009

i am nothing

this weekend i was reminded by God that i am nothing.

we were all together at the lake--three other couples who had never been. i had promised a great weekend with beautiful weather, boat rides, jet ski, kayaks, a canoe, a hot tub, and lots of games.

we get there late friday night, walk down to the dock, and georgia decides to jump in and drown herself. luckily grant and chris snatched her out of her impending death--which began the weekend with a bang.

the next day we go to the marina to inqure about the boat, only for it to not start--later identifying a problem in the engine somewhere... ok. so then we go back to the house to discover that no one ate the breakfast casserole that i made--they were waiting on us to get back, so we all ate it cold (quite a disappointment). grant and i went down to the dock to see about the jet ski--it wouldn't start. we called the marina about de-winterizing the other boat only to discover that, once hooked up and dropped into the water, the battery was dead. [are you getting a sense of the frustration/ failure i was feeling at this point?] we decide to forget all the fancy gadgets, and to just jump in the water, but want to check on the hot tub first, so that as we're shivering our way back to the house, we'd have steaming hot jets waiting on us... you guessed it: hot tub wasn't working.

i was very mad and frustrated that nothing was going right, or at least the way i'd planned, but i thought, at least the sun is out; i'll put on my bathing suit and go down to the dock to relax and read. the sun was out (about 72 degrees of warm goodness) but the winds were almost tornadic and laying out and/or reading was completely impossible.

this is when the breakdown/ break through happened: God was telling me that i am nothing. that i can do nothing apart from Him and furthermore, just because i had certain plans and expectations for the weekend did not mean that without them we would not have fun--God would show up on his own, and that was enough. He was forcing. me. to. let. go. and. i. hated. it.

learning/ relearning lessons like this sucks. seriously. even when you realize what you're supposed to realize--the boat, the jet ski, the hot tub, the battery--they still don't work. it's not like you have an epiphany and then boom, everything's perfect. everything's still hard, you just know that the God of the universe is speaking directly to you in the midst of it.

i'm not gonna lie: it took a few hours to get over my disappointment in things and renew my excitement for the rest of the weekend, but i did. and guess what: the weekend was perfect. it was awesome and amazing and we all got so much closer. we learned hilarious fun facts about each other, grew in our friendships, learned more about each others friends, families, hopes, dreams, fears, struggles, and played so many games that it all makes me laugh, even now, just thinking about it.

God was in our time together. He had the whole weekend in His hands all along. even without the boat. even without the jet ski. even without the hot tub. even without my expectations. and i'm so so thankful that He did, because looking back, my plan would've been ok, but not great, not a growing experience, not allowing as many sit-down-and-get-below-the-surface conversations, not playing as many games, and probably not sharing as many stories or laughs.

it's much easier to say this now, than at about 3:30pm on Saturday, but: thank you, LORD, for being in control, for being bigger than me, and for reminding me that, without leaving room for you to intercede, to be involved, to change my plans, i am nothing ;)

16 March 2009

my stupid mouth

so... today i woke up and something was off... i couldn't quite put my finger on it:
maybe i was tired from an awesome weekend
maybe i was hating my body for cramping (pms)
maybe it was my head that was throbbing

but it was none of these things (and all of them, at the same time):

it was a TOOTH ACHE!

the pain has now migrated throughout my body and continues to flow in waves from my molar outward and down... awesome.

i have an immediate/ emergency dentist appointment tomorrow am... yuck.

maybe it won't be infected...?

hope not. i'll keep you posted ;)

12 March 2009

just for today

today i feel sad for no reason at all, so just for today, i will remember mother theresa's prayer:

may today there be peace within. may you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be. may you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith. may you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. may you be content knowing you are a child of God. let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise, and love. it is there for each and every one of us.


06 March 2009


As most of you know, we have a great dane named Georgia. She's hilarious: 100 lbs of puppy, chill and hyper in equal measures, crazy, sweet, funny, mouthy, and tons of personality--she's our very own comedian, ridiculous in every way.

Georgia lives by one theory: When in doubt, lick it.

Keeping this in mind, I came home the other day and opened the door to the laundry room--her room--to find her leaning over a space heater, her face inches away from the plastic grill covering the "safety first" heater. We have the heat turned down while we're gone, but leave the heater in her room set at a certain temperature; when the temp dips below 70 it blows warm air, and when it's 70+ the heater turns off.

My theory is: Georgia liked the warm air, wanted it to turn back on when the temp automatically turned itself off, and decided--according her life motto--to lick it... This is when I caught her sheepishly hovering over said heater, tongue inches from the plastic... yeah...

welcome to my world... and to the psyche of a remarkably funny great dane.

what's your life motto??

i think mine might be "when in doubt, love" who knows.